The Pain That You Gifted Me

Have you ever been so emotionalthat your entire body starts convulsing?It's like you can feel the agonizing painand the excruciating angerin every inch of your body.and it feels like you're about to detonate. the thing about burying your feelings is that,they will eventually find a way out. The pain will manifest itselfin the inner most...

*Drowning

I'm tired of having these days. I want to be happy. I do.& most of the time I am.Happy. With you. But then a day like today comes. Those days.. Those days where all the tears I cried for youand all the anger I had for youjust come rushing back inand it once again feels...

This Is On You Now

I have gone from believingthis had turned into a positive thing,to believing (once again)that you will be the end of me . . This time though,there is a lot more to losethan just my own dignity. Everything is on the lineand I am not strong enoughto carry this on my shoulders. There is more at...

*With my Blood on Your Hands

When you turned and walked away from me,I swear I could feel a dagger go straight through my heart. Meanwhile you stood thereand watched me bleed me out. you stood there with your hand on the knifeand my blood on your hands. I cried out to you. and you twisted that knife deeper into my...

At the Drop of a Hat

I fall in love at the drop of a hatI promise I don't do it to be a bratI know I could use some help in that For love, I've always been a sort of stepping mat.

Be Cautious

Be cautious in everything that you dobecause she falls in love effortlessly Be careful in how you treat herbecause she gets her hopes up easily measure your words out deliberatelyand sensor them if you can do not look at her with desiredo not show any longing around her because even those small detailswill make her...

Love & Growth

If you love something, let it gothey say Distance makes the heart grow fonderthey say Real love grows with timethey say But the only things that grewwhile I was away from youwere my insecuritiesand my fears

*This One’s For You

"What do you write about, my love?"You asked me out of the blue one day. "I write about pain" was my response,"about heartbreak - because that's the only thing I know how to write about." You gave me that smile you knew I could never resist,and told me you wouldn't ever show up in my...

Ethereal Man, Why Do You Worry?

#4 in the Renaissance Man Series: His face is always so serious. Like he’s always in contemplation.   Oh that ethereal man, How I long to take every worry out of his mind. How I long to smooth every crease in his forehead.   To ease any worry he may have.   How I long...

*At a Distance

Why does it feel like you're always just barely out of reach? I feel like I have loved you for all eternity my love, but always from a distance. Maybe it's because you've always kept me at a distance. If it was up to me, I'd never leave your side. I would melt into you,...

*My Prayer for You

I pray none of you fall for someone...   who is impatient with your heart. who pulls away, the more you crave them.   I pray none of you fall for someone...   who feeds you false hope. who wastes your time.   I pray none of you fall for someone...   who will be...

*The Artist

Leading someone on, is an art. I mean think about it. You have to drag this person.. (who by the way would do absolutely anything for you) along for an extended amount of time. You have to actively prevent this person.. (who by the way has been waiting for a chance with you for what...

What Do I Win?

Why are you the only thing I can write about? I hope you're not thinking that I'm sitting here looking at a shrine made to you as I attempt to come up with beautiful words to capture the beautiful feelings you awake in me . . because it's quite the opposite . . It's dark...

Head-space

its been a long time since I've written, its been a long time since I've been in the head-space to write. to be completely honest I can't write in a happy place. I can't write about happy things and I can't write with the sun shining and the birds chirping Why? I want to write...

Update

So much had changed since the last time I wrote. I've been on a sort of sabbatical I guess you could say. Deleted all my social media. Had a divine revelation I guess you could say. It was much needed. Haven't posted. Obviously.. Never stopped writing though. Just didn't know what to share. The content...

Is It Just Me?

Recently I have picked up reading after a long hiatus of not picking up a good read and I am glad I did. I have been reading so many amazing books and I am loving it so far. Just today though, I came across an idea in the book I am currently reading, The Happiness Project...

ART

Art has a deeper connection to something else. I took a Medieval Film class this last semester and one of the films we watched and discussed had to do with art. With the role it has to do with humanity, how it was perceived in the middle ages versus how it is perceived now, the...

Which Is It?

As one gets older, they come to understand certain things about oneself that they do not when they are younger. Writing this, I have come to realize what a paradox my nature is. I am not a sociable person per say, talking to people wears me out and after doing it for too long, I...

I Want to Fall in Love

I want to fall in love. I want to fall in love with myself, to get to know myself and my interests. To care for myself and to be able to treat myself right. I want to learn to not be so hard on myself and to give myself the breaks that I need. But...

Blessed Be Those

Blessed the people who are not broken Lucky be those who are whole Fortunate be those who do not have affinity to self-destructive behavior For those of us who are broken Are not whole And are not fortunate do not enjoy the suffering we go through And yet We find ourselves In the midst of...

L’amour Est Un Oiseau Rebelle

I strongly encourage you to listen to the song below while reading. I listened to it while writing it. #3 in the Renaissance Man Series: I picture pews all around us as a spotlight of soft golden light shines on him, illuminating the bright, rich ringlets of hair that frame his magnificent eyes. I hear...

You Are

You are my double edged sword You are everything good in my life you are everything bad in my life You lift me and elevate me you degrade me and humble me You helped me build walls around my heart for protection walls you later went on to knock down I love the feelings you...

A Flash of Shock

My body and my brain chemistry reacted to you so violently and with such power so passionately and with such force that I was not aware of what had hit me it was like going into shock . . I knew there was an impact, I knew there was an injury But I couldn't feel...

Late Night, Valentine’s Day Musings

Valentine's Day has always seemed to me, to be a hit or miss holiday. Rarely have I met people who didn't have a strong opinion about this specific day. There are those who absolutely HATE it and those who absolutely LOVE it. Which category do you fall under? I know I write a lot of...

In This Moment and All Others

#2 in the Renaissance Man Series: As I sit and I look up at him through the crowd of people in between us, I cannot imagine anything more divine. As his lips move and his eyes flicker over the crowd, I feel my face flush, and my skin grow hot as if I had suddenly...

In Love Today

I fell in love again today. It happens more than you think. It happens more than it should. It happens more than I would like it to. For someone as romantic as I, it should not be a surprise anymore. But it is. It always takes me by surprise. It seems that Cupid's arrow is...

New Year

In the original draft of this post, I ended with multiple paragraphs of myself just droning on and on about my struggles this past year and why I was (still am?) so anxious for this new year. I poured my experiences and feelings out on this platform and to anyone reading my blog, this may...

Blog Update

I originally made this blog to have some place to vent my thoughts and to ramble on things that I felt were important, while at the same time giving others the chance to see what that looked like. The poems were only supposed to take a little part of the blog. Everything so far has...

Patience Is A Virtue .. (?)

Patience is always considered a virtue a good thing that everyone could use a little more of I use patience when the car in front of me has not realized the light has changed. I use patience when there's a line at the check-out I use patience when I have to wait my turn for...

Why I Write Directly to YOU

Why I write directly to YOU: I use the word you because I want everyone to read these poems out loud I want everyone to say these poems to the person bringing them pain Because I write for every broken hearted fool out therewho is hurting and questioning their choices My audience is not the...

Our Story ( Sestina Poem )

eagles are known for flying high settling for nothing less than light would you recognize one if you saw it on the streets the beauty and the eloquence hidden by the shade or would you be too busy staring into the unknown for a species so advanced we tend to look at things with an...

To All Those Who Inspired Me

I never fit into the mold that was my surroundings. According to them, my thinking was t o o   b r o a d for the confinement of a society I found myself trapped in. My ideas were t o o   a b s t r a c t and p o w e r...

Magnum Opus

#1 in the Renaissance Man Series: I have spent sleepless nights pacing around my room trying to make sense of the voices that surround me. I have filled sheets of paper, whole journals even with words meant just for you, only to end up as ash blown away by the wind. What is there to say that has not already...

The Most Painful

I can honestly say you were the most painful my love. You latched onto me and festered inside my heart. We never had a relationship. That’s what hurt. I loved you desperately, like I was drowning and gasping for air. You lead me on, made me believe there was something there. We didn't have time...

Thief

Every time I listen to certain songs  . . I think of you You have stolen that music from me Or I have given it to you on a silver platter. Does it matter? Does it make a difference? Do you care that I can't listen to certain songs anymore because they bring with them...

To You, For ME

My dearest lover, Maybe I write to you as a way of encompassing all of my lonely feelings . . Otherwise, it does not make sense that I am able to fill journals with words for you or about you. I mean, we were never really together and didn't spend much time in each other's...

Disillusioned

When you leaned into me, put your hands on my face, and stared into me, I swear I saw my future in your eyes. I saw warmth and hope and peace. Things I hadn't experienced with anyone in a long time. When you put your lips against mine, my hands went around the back of...

Trapped

the things that we love the most the things that we love for making us feel "free" those are the things that end up trapping us trapping us and making us glad to be trapped Crazy and obsessed were never words that I would use to describe myself but when it comes to you the...

Intentions

I've always thought of you in terms of someone who took something from me. Is that completely and honestly what happened though? I have a feeling none of this was your intention But then . . what were your intentions? If they were not to leave me after using me, then what was it? I...

Drugged

I never understood when people said that love was like a drug. I never understood how someone could crave something that did them harm But I understand it now the need for over stimulation the addiction the wanting more the feeling of every crack and break inside of me with every glance of yours thrown...

The Burning Shower

I sit on the floor of my bath tub I feel the scorching hot water run down my body and completely cover me It is burning me. My skin turns raw as it reddens But the pain is distant It's a dull pain an impersonal one a temporary one The real pain lives inside me. The...

Romantic For You

I've always considered myself and thought of myself as a romantic, and as a rather hopeless romantic at that. Hopeless in the sense that I had wild ideas of love and about what love was. It had the same effect as magic for me, and I assume for all self-proclaimed romantics. I realize that the...

Unpredictable

When I think of you . . it's not always constant, as you would assume. It comes in bouts, in episodes I can go weeks, months without thinking of you. Then there are days where every second my mind is repeating it's memories of you . . it's fantasies of you. This thing . ....